he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
