Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
