forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Alive.
So much puke
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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