ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
