i just google imaged poop.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
