I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
