You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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