Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
