Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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