so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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