"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
