My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
