Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
