went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
