dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
