The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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