he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
