i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
