I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
two words...techno handjob
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
