wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
