We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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