I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
