she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize