Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
