Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
