I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
