i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
