i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
