exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
