I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he fucked my hip out of place.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
