So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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