my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize