is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize