i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
