ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
