I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
