Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
