Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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