New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
