I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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