mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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