I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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