your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
