He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
