so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
