my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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