I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
