I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
