i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
