I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
