Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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