Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize