She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
