yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
