You don't have asthma, your pregnant
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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