Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
