Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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