apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
