She's JV to your varsity
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
