I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
