i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
