i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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