the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
