yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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