Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
