giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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